Episode 005 Boundaries

Welcome back friends!
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Jumping in, last episode I addressed what I mean when I talk about “living a life you’re proud of” and one of the main points I hope you walked away with is that being intentional to live a life you’re proud of is what’s best for you and for the people in your life.

Continuing that theme today I’m focusing on boundaries; the boundaries you have in your interpersonal relationships.

Boundaries mark where you end and others begin. Healthy boundaries are best for you AND for others (a common theme around here…).

Healthy boundaries help you discern what is your work to do, and what isn’t your work to do.

Healthy boundaries help you see what you have control over and what you don’t have control over.

Why is this conversation important?
If you don’t think about your boundaries intentionally you’ll live out of your default mode – whatever that is – whether you know what that is or want it to be that way or not…

Boundaries will have struggle for almost everyone although the particular struggle will vary for each person.

Some struggle to have any boundaries.

Others may struggle with relational dynamics communicating or living into those boundaries.

No matter your tendency, consciously paying attention to and/or knowing what your boundaries are and/or why they’re important for you and/or communicating those boundaries well can be a struggle across the board.

No matter what your particular struggle is, learning the skill of asking probing questions of yourself and others will be extremely useful.

A probing question can be simple as “why do I care about X?” or “why do you care about X?”

Specifically with boundaries a probing question can be, “How do I feel about boundaries? Why do I feel that way? Where does that feeling come from?”

Why are boundaries often so tricky? They effect our relationships!

How can we make boundary work easier?

Often learning and focusing on truth is the best way to encourage growth.
-If you have no boundaries you not only exhaust yourself, you are likely violating the boundaries of others in your life without evening knowing it…
-If you have clear boundaries but don’t communicate them or simply push back when you feel them encroached upon, you’re likely allowing something that’s overall healthy to still be an energy drain relationally…

End of episode coaching question:
Whatever your struggle around boundaries, bring that up in your mind right now.
Has that struggle ever been easy or easier in the past? Perhaps in a past job, with a group of people or in a particular situation?
What can you learn from that time or situation to help you grow around whatever your boundary struggle is right now?

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